Sunday, July 26, 2009

What they don't tell you about being pregnant....

Addie Jane--

Being pregnant with you presented all sorts of challenges, times of joy, and times that tested my patience, determination, and overall health. It was totally worth it...I knew this all along. It is probably going to seem like I'm complaining about being pregnant with you; however, I thank God for every day that I was carrying you. Although...if, when you are 14 and try to backtalk me, I'm going to make you read this and play the guilt card... all the things I went through to have you!

I found out I was pregnant with you a couple of weeks after graduating from grad school. Your dad and I took a deep breath and started praying for the best. As I said, we had just lost a baby a few months before. The next few weeks were filled with gut-wrenching, tension-filled doctors appointments...sometimes as often as every 48 hours to get more and more bloodwork done, ultrasounds, etc. Every morning, when I woke up and felt sicker and sicker, your dad would get a big smile on his face because this was a sign that my pregnancy hormones were increasing...good news for you! I was also busy studying for my anesthesia board exam-- 10-12 hours each day. I was nauseous on average 22 out of the 24 hours of the day...and reading/studying made it so much worse! I would meet my study partner at the library and he would immediately drag a trash can up to our table right by my chair. The intense nausea (and vomiting...yuck!) lasted 19 weeks. There were days that all I could stomach was a couple fruit cups. I dropped 15 pounds. I threw up everywhere...in a plant outside a restaurant at Clay's graduation party, in my bed (got a new comforter out of that one!), in the doctor's office waiting room (after which I promptly passed out; if you ever want to jump in front of a bunch of waiting paitents, do that; you get seen QUICK!). My parents ended up driving me up to Nashville to take my board exams because I was too sick to drive myself. That's how they found out I was pregnant with you...not a fun way to present such good news! :)

Oh how food smells made me ill! Your dad and I went to the grocery store one night. I sat in the car of course, while he went in (I didn't go inside a grocery store, restaurant, etc for MONTHS!). He came out with chicken wings...yuck! The smell was so intense he had to drive all the way home holding the box of chicken wings out of the window. By the way, it was about 22 degrees outside. We got home and he had a frozen claw of a hand. :)

I started my new job when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I remember giving anesthesia with a trash can right beside me and hanging over it in the middle of surgeries. Not fun! The nausea got much more manageable around week 20. Then...at week 21....

It was Valentine's Day and Jeff and I were going to church for Cajun Dinner Theatre (a really funny fundraiser for missions). I remember just having these horrible pains in my lower back and around to the side. The doctors told me that it was probably just round ligament pain; I remember thinking, "oh Lord, if this is that bad, how in the world will I handle labor??" We ended up having to leave early and ended up in the hospital. They found out that I had pyelonephritis, hydronephrosis, and kidney stones...which prompted me to go into preterm labor. Five IV's, multiple blood draws, multiple shots in my arm to try to stop the labor, shots in the bootie for pain, 2 kidney stones, surgery to put a stent in my kidney, and 7 days in the hospital LATER....I finally got to go home....on bedrest. The preterm labor continued...

I was on bedrest from week 21 to 36. I ended up back in the hospital 3 more times...progressing from oral brethine to magnesium drips and then back home on a brethine pump in my leg. I wore a contraction monitoring belt and sent it in to nurses at least twice a day. The brethine made you feel like you were high on speed...heartrate in the 120s, nausea, & shakiness. However, none of that compared to the magnesium. I couldn't eat for days on that medicine...anything I ate, I promptly threw back up. It made you feel like you were about to internally combust you were so hot. Your dad had to dress like he was out in a snow storm just to be in my hospital room...oh, and it was about 90 degrees outside. I couldn't even get up to use the restroom...ahh, the joys of using a bedpan...

Being on bedrest tested my spirit. It was hard not to get depressed. I watched Jeff and the dogs play in the snow...I watched the flowers bloom in spring...I saw it turn greener and hotter with early summer...all through my window. I don't think I could have made it without the unending, loving, and dedicated support of Jeff. He did all the cleaning & cooking, worked full time, entertained me, and did countless other little things to keep up my spirits. Your Mamie and Papa Jack came into town at least 3 times a week to help me. My friends and family kept me going...and of course, thoughts of you helped a lot too :)...

This reminds me of one of my favorite soapboxes...if you know a pregnant woman struggling with morning sickness, bedrest, or even just heartburn....don't tell her it will be "worth it." She already knows that!!! I never doubted one second that you would be worth it and so much more. Look her in the eyes, take her hand, give her a hug and say I'm so sorry you are going through this...I know this has to just suck....you are amazing for going through this...can I come over and do your laundry for you?....pick one. And husbands...hug your wife and tell her how amazing & beautiful she is...how you are such in awe of her and thankful everyday that she is sacrificing so much to nuture your child! (your dad did a stellar job of this) Okay, I'm done with my rant...

So I got off of bedrest at 36 weeks and actually enjoyed being pregant for a week! Although I would scare people everywhere I went because I couldn't walk or talk through my ever-frequent contractions...I had a few people offer to dial "911" for me! I stopped the brethine...and boom, a day and a half later my water broke at 230 in the morning. More on your amazing birth later. In fact I'll write you a whole letter on the joys of being pregnant and giving birth. I had to get the ugly stuff over with first! :)

Despite everything...being pregnant was an experience that I wouldn't trade. I learned more about myself and how struggles can turn into joy in a millisecond. How hardships carve the character and heart of a person. How happiness is tied into and intertwined with sorrow. You are perfect, little one. I'm so thankful.

Love you always...

2 comments:

  1. Can't wait to read the birth story!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have Jeff on video making hte snowman when it snowed! I look like a stalker because I videoed him through the living room window! That is such a great story! You are such a trooper! And Addie Jane is absolutely adorable!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete